I haven't been able to write in a while. The last time I wrote, I was about to move. Then I had to get settled. After that, I had to find a subject to write about. Haha!
We have now moved and are settled. This house is different than our other house. There are no baby gates up to keep the kids out and my sanity in. They have free reign of the house. It is a blessing and a curse.
On one hand, I really love how it has made the relationship between my girls and me closer. On the other hand, it has really also tested that relationship and how I deal with them. Today, I read something I posted on facebook last year about responding to my children rather than reacting to them. What an irritating thing; especially since the kids having free reign is the biggest test for my patience. There is a lot of truth in that statement though. It has made me want to be more patient and more consistent. Of course, if you sow consistency, you will reap patience because if you're consistent enough they will get it.
HOWEVER, the mommy tantrum still happens. Here is how it all began:
The girls have eaten breakfast. I have had my coffee, and I am now focused on getting dinner into the crock (fabulous and easy dinner by the way. I should really post it.) Things start of with me telling them that since they are done eating, it is time to leave the kitchen. There is nothing in there for them to play with. The kitchen is not a play area; especially since they have a MASSIVE play room upstairs(with a wonderful play kitchen my wonderful cousin gave me) AND Lauralei's room downstairs. It has been hard for me to figure out the rules for this house since being here. I think this is a good rule. Sure, I will let them help me cook dinner sometimes, but this rule is good rule to have. Helping me cook does not equal playing anyways. So it's a good rule.
Alright, they leave, and it is time for my next task. Our laundry room is off of the kitchen, so they are coming in asking me questions while I am retrieving the laundry. They think it's time to play in the kitchen again. I repeat the rule. This happens several times. Not to mention, by the time my mommy tantrum starts to happen, Lucy and Lainey have already been in time-out twice for unrelated behavior. So, my frustration is getting higher. My tolerance and patience is getting lower. So far I feel that I have managed my emotions well.
It's time to do laundry. Do you know what it's like folding laundry with three kids? I have my helper (Lucy). I have my cuddler (Lainey). And then, I have my 'time to throw the clothes everywhere because it's fun" child (Do I even have to name her? The child is wild. I love her for it though). So that is three kids all up in my business. When I insist they go play for a bit, apparently that means in the kitchen. I start to hear the noises: the "what's in here" opening of the cabinets. The 'I'm going to pour mommy's drink into the sink'. Granted, Lucy thought she was helping, but I had just poured that water. (Parenting is so friggin' frustrating. You don't want to break her little helper spirit, but you also don't want to waste something you just poured.) After hearing all this going on, I throw a tantrum.
"GET OUT OF THE KIIITTTCHHHEEEEEENNNNNN!!!!!! IF YOU'RE NOT EATING, GET OUT OF THERE. IF I SEE ANYONE IN THERE, AND THEY'RE NOT EATING, THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES!!"
We have all asked ourselves the question, "Why does it take me yelling to get them to listen?' I have seen that meme a lot lately. I have tried the quieter approach where I almost whisper. That worked for a while, but then Lucy and Lainey started to back talk and the whole "but we..." No! No! I just told you to do something. I have told you several times. DO IT!
Then I read this and I am even more frustrated because I feel like a crappy parent. Not to mention, when the book (The Conscious Parent) says stuff about how our kids are people and not animals. So I feel like I wanting to teach them to do what I say when I say it is treating them less like a human being and more like a dog. So what is it, really? I don't want them to mindless drones, but I don't want to lose my shit all of the time either. The most frustrating thing about this is how I always feel like I never have control of me or my surroundings. In fact, I just had another tantrum while writing this. They probably do this stuff because I lack the self control and instill it in them. One vicious cycle after another. I'll figure out what's best for us eventually. Some days are better than others, and maybe it's just a matter of letting things go.
I really meant for this to be funnier than it is. Sorry about that.
